Numb in the womb of November

Art: John A. Kurtz

I have to admit I am not handling the recent energies very well. They make me tired and numb inside, yet cranky, and then there is my poor third eye, which is practically rolling in its invisible socket right now. The darkest time of the year is not helping either, the womb of November was a pretty dark time to navigate, and all I can think of is the spring, even when the winter has not even begun yet on these latitudes... and I guess we are living December right now. I have lost the track of time long time ago.

But the mood swings go very, very high when they go high. If you let go of all the illusions of the 3D world you get nothing but pure bliss. There is a certain change in the air and there is definitely not going back anymore. Life on this planet is changing and the change can be felt in the heart, even if the physical eyes or the brain are not quite yet able to join all the dots.

Work days go in a thick haze and all you are able to do after work is sleep. You wait for weekends, because that is when life happens and you can feel joy again. Is that normal? Nope, but the society wants you to believe so... Whatever the case, this is the time... even if it doesn't always feel good. Make the most of it anyway. Thoughts manifest rapidly right now. Be gentle with yourself and do boldly whatever your soul is craving to do right now. Follow your dreams, one thought at a time.

I do what I can and let the rest of my life hibernate. I have no energy/money to make big moves. My car is broken all the time, forcing me to stay still. I guess there is a reason for that, too.

Like during all these years of transition, I need lots of time in total solitude and I keep my distance. This cave has been a womb for me and this is where I create my new life energetically... by letting go of the old and by purifying my heart and soul to give room for the new energies to sink in. It has been a long road, but I wouldn't have had it any other way... You can't take anybody else inside the womb with you. Wombs are always lonely places to be. They are places of solitude and holy creation, they are places of growth, silent preparation and soul searching.

I crave for the company of animals though, but I am not able to get any pets in this moment of life. It breaks my heart... so I update Kissa-page on Facebook regularly to get my dose of sweet feline energy and joy.

(God knows, I could use a cat in this cave. I saw mouse poo on my pillow the other day when I woke up and opened my eyes. Somebody has been watching me while I was sleeping. And then he got scared and pooped his way out of my bed.)

I spend my cave/quality time by knitting socks and reading and sleeping among dozens of colorful yarn balls. You know, there is a reason why I do not share this cave with anyone... ;o] Nobody else could live in a cold place like this, among yarn balls, books and occasional mice poo on the pillow.

I can, and it even makes me happy...